Match Preview; Aston Villa v Spurs (we are back in control of events)

Match Preview; Aston Villa v Spurs (we are back in control of events)

Let us start with, not Spurs, but the plastic-Woolwich-Toy-Goners.

After our 5-1 victory over the Magpies on Sunday and leaping frogging the Woolwich-Plastic’s into the top four, we expected that position would be a short stay as Woolwich was to play Palace on Monday (the next day). We all hoped they would get beaten, but none of us truly believed it and that they would restore their fourth-placed position, but low and behold… Patrick Viagra-Vieira, a former Woolwich Mellon, kicked his old team into touch and humiliated them. Yes, Viagra-man’s team scored 3 goals to their none (which only goes to show that if you have viagra in your system, you can come at least three times, no matter what Woolwich-plastic opposition you are facing!).

I am sure you are not in a hurry to get straight into my review of our Villa game… just yet, so…

…laughter time!

Woolwich wag Mikel Arteta had to apologise to his fickle supporters for his side’s poor-pathetic performance in their surprise defeat at Crystal Palace. He accepted it was not good enough for the fake north London land stealers. Dippy Woolwich had gone – yes, gone – into the Viagra game, looking to move back into the top four; laugh at us and strengthen their hopes of Champions League football (oh, we all laughed!). The truth was that they were second-best to Viagra’s scaffolding building team at Selhurst Park.

Arteta had said, after the game… “It is time to accept the criticism….” YOU THINK? What a bunch of pompous dickheads. Arrogance was their weakness, with the final outcome being collective madness (falling on one’s arse and staring up at Uranus!). Enough of the Plastic Woolwich boys and back to our continuous challenge for the top four spot (or even… dare I say it, third?)… next up, Villa at Villa Park.

Villa Park… here we come…

We’ve won 5 out of the last 6 games and scored some impressive goals along the way. Since Antonio Conte took charge, only the scousers and City have earned more points in the Premier League than us. The battle for the league title is between those two teams.

We are contesting third and fourth positions; I say third as Chelski are starting to wobble and fall on Roman Abramovich’s sword (they were recently beaten 1-4 by Brentford and 1-3 Real Madrid at home) is not conceivable that we could get that third spot.

Here’s what the table would look like if the League had started when Conte had taken over (all teams have played 20 games unless stated otherwise):

  1. Manchester City – 53 points
  2. Liverpool – 50 points
  3. Tottenham – 39 points
  4. Arsenal – 37 points (19 games played)
  5. Chelsea – 34 points (19 games played)
  6. Manchester United – 34 points
  7. Wolves – 33 points (21 games played)
  8. West Ham United – 31 points (21 games played)
  9. Newcastle United – 27 points
  10. Aston Villa – 26 points

Quite impressive!

Back to us… we have now won 14 points from losing positions – more than any other Premier League team this season. All looking good so far

Team news.


Oliver Skipp (groin) and Japhet Tanganga (knee) are not ready to return. At the same time, Ryan Sessegnon’s muscular issue will likely keep him out. So I am going for the same team that faced Newcastle on Sunday.

Our game against Villa won’t be an easy one, however, if we can continue our form, I expect to win 2-1 or 3-1.

Prediction 2-1 or 3-1


We are starting to knit very well together, and things look good on the pitch as a team. We need to win our next two games to put us in a comfortable position. The Woolwich Arse-wipe’s next two games will be against the seagulls and another set of seagulls, Southampton… then their big test will be against Chelski and United. They have a game in hand over us, but that game could be at our Tottenham stadium (12th May). That will be a big match for both teams. The battle for North London!

Match facts

Gerrard started off well as manager for Villa but has dipped of late, and he has lost his last three games; Wolves (2-1), the Arse (1-0) and the Spammers 2-1, so there will be hoping to get quickly back on track. Currently, they are 11th in the League.

When he played in Scotland’s two-team league, Steve Gerrard was a great success, but he knows it will not be that easy when he returned to a proper league. Any fool of a manager could do well if they managed one of the two big (only)teams in Scotland (Celtic or Rangers).

Aston Villa have won just two of their last 20 Premier League games against us (D3 L15), both away from home in April 2015 and May 2021. Their final victory against them at Villa Park was in January 2008.

We have won our last six Premier League away games against Aston Villa. Only against the Villa themselves have we had a longer winning away run in our league history (7 between 1950 and 1956).

Aston Villa have lost their last three Premier League matches, losing each game by a one-goal margin. Indeed, the Villans have lost 12 games by one goal this season, more than any other side.

We have scored 21 goals in our last six Premier League matches (W5 L1), scoring four or more goals in three games (4-0 vs Leeds, 5-0 vs Everton, 5-1 vs Newcastle). It’s the first time we have scored 21 times in six top-flight games since a run between April and September 1965.

Aston Villa have won just four of their last 30 Premier League matches in April (D9 L17) and have lost nine of their last 11 games in the month (W1 D1) – their one win was a 3-1 home victory over Fulham last year.

We have scored 43 goals in our 20 Premier League matches under Antonio Conte (W12 D3 L5); in Premier League history, the only managers to see their teams score more goals in their first 20 games in charge at a club are Carlo Ancelotti at Chelsea in 2009 (45 goals) and Manuel Pellegrini at Manchester City in 2013-14 (57 goals).

Steven Gerrard has lost nine of his 19 Premier League matches as Aston Villa manager (W7 D2) after only losing 11 of his 118 league matches as Rangers manager between 2018 and 2021. He has lost his last three Premier League games with Villa, only ending on the losing side in four in a row as a player once – a run of five in November and December 2002 at Liverpool.

Harry Kane has scored in all three of his away Premier League appearances against Aston Villa, scoring in 2014-15, 2015-16 and 2020-21. The only player to score in four consecutive away Premier League appearances against Villa is Romelu Lukaku (2013-2021).

Aston Villa’s Ollie Watkins has scored in and lost eight Premier League matches since the start of last season, the most of any player. Only Gareth Barry (12) and Christian Benteke (9) have scored in and lost more Villa matches in Premier League history.

Son has scored and assisted in 20 Premier League matches for us – since his debut, only Mohamed Salah (23 games) has done so more often. He has been directly involved in 15 goals in his last 16 Premier League appearances (10 goals, 5 assists).

So, there you have it. If we can win at Villa, I believe we’ve got a serious chance of getting a place in the top four… even, yes, even… swapping places with Chelski.


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