Match Report: Spammers v Spurs (the Jellied eels v the Cockerels)

Match Report: Spammers v Spurs (the Jellied eels v the Cockerels)

Two bitter rivals from different positions in the Premier League will be locking horns at London’s Meccano Stadium on Wednesday evening. Yes, the Jellied eels will be snarling at us, looking upwards in embarrassment and hope for a London derby victory. I say, welcoming us… but with blunted claws outstretched… hoping for a miracle.

The Bubbling-blowing fanatics will enter the contest off the back of a 1-0 victory over Aston Villa on Sunday, while WE continued our strong start to the season with a 2-0 win at Nottingham Forest over the weekend.

The Spammers lost their opening three matches without scoring a single goal, leaving them bottom of the table (and now only two points above the bottom of the table, Leicester Titty).

We, in the meantime, have made an inspiring start to the season, picking up 10 points from our four games, which has left us in third spot, but equal on points with second-placed City, in the table.

We will now take on the Spammers and Cottagers in back-to-back London derbies before starting our Champions League campaign at home to Marseille on September 7.

As everybody knows, but just to remind the Spammers, we finished fourth in the Premier League last season but are being tipped to challenge even higher up the division this season by the critics, with Conte ostensibly building a squad capable of closing the gap on the top two. Yes, the top two; Scousers & City, whom, I might add, we did well against last season (City, we did the double over, while we got two draws from Liverpool). So much for closing the gap; what we’ve got to do is not make stupid mistakes and lose games we should clearly win.

West Ham United form (all competitions):

LLWLWW

Tottenham Hotspur Premier League form:

WDWW

Team News

The Spammers

The Spammers will again be without the services of summer signing Nayef Aguerd due to an ankle injury, while Craig Dawson is likely to remain out due to a thigh issue.

Ben Johnson and Aaron Cresswell are also doubtful due to the problems they picked up against Villa. Angelo Ogbonna and Vladimir Coufal could come into their side.

Spurs

Conte has revealed that Cristian Romero and Oliver Skipp are both back in training ahead of this match, with the former potentially returning to the back three. Romero has just signed a permanent contract with us.

Lucas Moura and Bryan Gil remain unavailable for selection through injury, but we are otherwise in strong shape, and the bulk of the side that started against Forest should again be in the side.

My predicted starting lineup:

Lloris; Romero, Dier, Davies; Emerson, Bentancur, Hojbjerg, Perisic; Kulusevski, Kane, Son

Thoughts

I think we will be too powerful against the Spammers this time around; I can see them struggling this season.

In the last two games, I’ve predicted 5-0 wins (against Wolves & Forest). But the Spurs didn’t quite make it, however, this time around I shall be a bit more cautious and go for a 1-3 win; saying that… and seeing as I’ve lowered my prediction, we will probably now win 5-0.

Prediction 1-3

Dejan Kulusevski has had 10 league assists since his debut in February, more than any other player in that time.

MATCH FACTS

Head-to-head

The Jellied eels are looking to win three consecutive home Premier League matches against us for the first time since a run of four between 1997 to 1999.

There hasn’t been a draw in this fixture in any of the last 13 games, with the Spammers winning six and Spurs seven.

David Moyes has lost just one of his last 10 home league matches against us (W5, D4).

Tottenham Hotspur

We have earned 10 points out of a possible 12; the only Premier League season in which we made a better start was 2009-10.

We have won 39 points since March, more than any other side in the top tier (W12, D3, L2).

Our next victory in a Premier League London derby will be our100th.

Harry Kane has been involved in seven goals in his last six Premier League games against the Bubble blowers, scoring four and assisting three.

That’s it, folks, Onwards and upwards… Up the Spurs!

If you are going, see you at the Meccano stadium, if not, enjoy it on TV.

Glenn

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