Levy; poems, songs, clowns, which is the true man?

Levy; poems, songs, clowns, which is the true man?

A bit of tongue in cheek article. You’ll either laugh or shake your head in bewilderment.

By Don Scully

Half a league, half a league,

Half a league onward,

All rode into Levy’s Valley of Death

   the Spurs faithful.

“Forward, shouted Levy!

Charge for the guns!” he said.

Into the valley of Death

   Rode the hapless team

With the chairman picking

Up the dropped coins behind

The fallen team.

[Taken from the words of Charge of the Light Brigade (by ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON), with my adaptation]

And that is how it feels when Levy sends his team out not fully covered and certainly not in the strength our wealth dictates. We certainly don’t compete as the other big five do or even the Europeans. We’ve got a magnificent stadium, but the engine that drives the team is sputtering and coughing to survive relegation or in a good season challenge for a place in the Europa League of disappointments …as he rides the team into the valley of Death.

It all started when Levy sacked Pochettino for doing an Oliver, asking for “More” funds to take his team to the next level and to show how grateful Levy was, he sacked him. Then in his wisdom, he employed Mourinho – the first named manager he’s ever had – then gave him a specific time limit (in his own mind) and then once we were near a Cup Final, he quickly dismissed him and then tried to get the man he threw out before he hired Mourinho, back (“Curiouser and curiouser!”). But that man learned his lesson and said “no,” and Levy then went looking for other stooges, who only wanted to haggle, but Levy didn’t want to negotiate, just obedience and glory all rolled in a five-pound note. That is Levy in a nutshell. Now he is looking to keep his star player or sell him for an astronomical sum if he continues his disobedience.

Money motivates Levy, that is why he built that magnificent stadium and then filled it with various entertainments. But the team is left to struggle because that would cost him money from his pocket. What a sorry state we have become.

Now the man (Fabio Paratici), who hasn’t even started working for Levy yet, is looking for another one to replace all of Levy’s failures. Then that person is expected to win everything possible on a shoestring so that Levy and the board can retire into oblivion on their billions (oh, with a statue dedicated to him by his adoring fans erected outside the stadium) – oh, we laughed!

Sounds like a storyline out of the Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy: “How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain?”

Scarecrow: “I don’t know… But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they?” 

Levy has been at our club now for 20 years, do you think he sings this to celebrate his time here?

It was 20 years ago today

Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play

It’s wonderful to be here

It’s certainly a thrill

You’re such a lovely audience

We’d like to take you home with us

Or maybe not, how about this then? Another Beatles classic, “A fool on the Hill!”

Day after day, alone on a hill

The man with the foolish grin

Is keeping perfectly still

But nobody wants to know him

They can see that he’s just a fool

And he never gives an answer

But the fool on the hill

Sees the sun going down

And the eyes in his head

See the world spinning round

What a clown he has turned out to be… maybe we should forget the Beatles and think Judy Collins, “Send in the clown!”

Don’t you love farce?

My fault, I fear

I thought that you’d want what I want

Sorry, my dear!

But… send in the clowns!

Well, it deserves a smile, at least… it takes you away from the pain and misery that Levy and his Board have created for us loyal fans.

Ok, Nul points! (but all done in the best possible taste, said Cupid Stunt! Thank you, Kenny Everett).

By Don Scully

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